Rabies? What?!

So... if someone is afraid of water... do they still call it hydrophobia???? I mean what's THAT all about....


When does it stop being partly cloudy and START being partly sunny???

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it?

Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Why are the little Styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?

If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

In THAT case, why would you put the baby in a tree? I mean it's obviously dangerous seeing as how the next part of the song says they come falling down cradle and all.... I mean come on... sadistic much?

How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?


Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?


Annoying Questions...

1. When you lose something and they ask "Where was the last place you had it?" Well if i rememberedwhere it was ummmm I wouldnt be in this situation here huh, sparky?

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I
know where my watch is dude, where is yours?
Do I point at my mouth when I ask where the cafeteria is?

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". Heck yes! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? Who has cake in their hands and just says "no, I'll put in a glass case to look at it."?

4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look". Of course
it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a movie, "Did you see that?". No,
loser, I paid $12 to come to the theatre and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"....
Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's
new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement,then there must have been something before it....

8. When people say, "Life is short". What?? Life is the longest thing
anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus
come yet?". If the bus had already come, would I be standing here?

Well I thought it was incredibly funny so i hoped you laughed!!! Much loves


Funny sayings

  1. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after.
  2. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment. --Robert Benchley
  3. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
  4. A conclusion is simply the place where you get tired of thinking.
  5. Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
  6. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  7. Early bird gets the worm, but the second worm gets to live.
  8. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.--Charlie McCarthy
  9. If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a fool.
  10. "I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."-- E.V. Lucas
  11. The best part about procrastination is that you are never bored, because you have all kinds of things that you should be doing.
  12. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  13. A watched clock never boils.
  14. Time is money, money is the root of all evil, and knowledge is power. Therefore, procrastination is the key to world peace.
  15. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
  16. Hard work never killed anyone, but why give it a chance?
  17. There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back.--Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister
  18. It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.--Earl of Chesterfield
  19. Someday is not a day of the week.
  20. The time to begin most things is ten years ago.--Mignon McLaughlin